I think I need to take a break from the writing scene. Because querying problems are like fist-world problems for writers.
Not that I want to, by any means. I’m constantly thinking about my MS or my queries and I’m already working on the second novel. It’s just that I’m not a very patient person. Patience is a virtue I do not have, and I’ll readily admit that any day of the week. It’s not like I think my work is gold either — there’s always room for improvement and, beta readers and query critts aside, the positive remarks don’t make up for the lack of response from agents.
And then I get frustrated. Frustrated to the point where I’m living in a maelstrom of self-doubt within a sinkhole of negativity. Which, as you know, is not a good place to be.
Earlier this week I was browsing my Twitter feed and noticed one of my top agents sent out a request for New Adult, Romance submissions. Score! My novel is an urban fantasy with strong romantic themes and of course, new adult. Boom! I instantly favorited her post and then went to work customizing my query letter for submission. Within a few minutes, I checked my phone and noticed she started following me on Twitter (gasp!). I did a little mini dance, even though just following me means nothing, I was still excited.
A few hours later, my personalized query was off with every blessing I could pass on to it.
Queue horrid patience issue. Yes, I know agents can takes weeks, even months to respond. Yes, I have received some answers within a few days, but they were all rejections. Yes, I know querying takes time. Yes, I know all of this. Yes, yes, yes. (I wish I could be saying “Yes, yes, yes!” to a response email from her requesting pages.)
So, to try and distract from not only hers but the multitude of queries I’ve sent out, I’ve been participating in events like #SFFpit and now #WritePit. Alas! Doubt springs forth like sunshine during the middle of an Arizona summer; in other-words, everywhere. Why did this agent like so and so’s pitch but not mine? Yes, I know they could be looking for different things. No, that doesn’t matter to my mind apparently. Blah. Not to mention there’s only, oh I don’t know, thousands upon thousands of tweets about this trend. So yes, I do know that even though an agent might be browsing looking for my particular genre, it is entirely possible they won’t even see the pitch. And no, that doesn’t make a difference.
Admittedly, I feel a little like Cady from Mean Girls: “I admit, I was mildly horrified when Aaron didn’t immediately ask me to be his girlfriend.” Sort of. I’m not insinuating that my manuscript deserves immediate attention. Hell, I’m sure there are hundreds upon hundreds out there that are more phenomenal than mine (and that’s not even me trying to be negative, that’s just a reality). I just mirror her sentiment when it comes back to the patience level.
At this point, I’m not sure what I’ll do. Take a break from the forums, twitter pitch fests and queries for a while? In all honesty, probably not. I can’t tear myself away from this stuff, and as much as it dampens my mood sometimes, this is my passion. And I’m here to stay.